Breadcrumb #120

BOB RAYMONDA

Helena tucks one violet tentacle behind her ear and makes a pencil mark on the notepad in her lap, taking inventory. A child wanders through the tent, rubbing its grimy little fingers on everything, and driving her mad. She doesn’t understand how anyone does it--procreate that is. She has a hard enough time carrying on a conversation without wanting to sew most people’s mouths shut.

    Helena surrounds herself by the spices and herbal medicines of home, but it doesn’t truly compare. Even here in the upper bazaar, where the air is purified and the water flows freely, the general atmosphere of the city sours her mood. She prefers to be on the ground level, even with its lack of sunlight. The people there are friendlier, more willing to share all of the nothing they have with each other. Every minute she spends at work peddling goods to the wealthy reminds her that she isn’t here of her own volition. That her home in the western reaches isn’t home to anyone, anymore.

     “You got parents, kid?” she asks through gritted teeth.

    The child, who’s now scrutinizing a vial of ground crimson mytofly powder, looks back at her dumbfounded.

    Setting her notebook down on the desk, Helena stands with her arms crossed over her chest. “We both know that you heard me.”

     The child looks up at her with doe eyes, his index finger pointed at his face as if to ask, Who, me?

     “I’m sorry squirt, but if you’re not here to buy anything, you’ve got to scram” she says, tapping her foot on the ground.

     His sky-blue tentacles flush with embarrassment as he slowly edges himself outside. He pockets a vial of shillerbeast droppings before running out. Helena halfheartedly chases after him, but doesn’t bother going farther than a few feet. She returns to her desk and smiles, satisfied that the brat has no idea he’s pilfered cattle shit. Its only purpose past excretion to help burn warts off the feet of rich women.

     The scent of cooking flesh emanates from the mess tents on the platform below. Her stomach curls, knowing that a living creature suffered just to feed the pampered clientele that often peruse but rarely buy her goods. She hasn’t ever eaten an animal -- harvested their bones, teeth, hair, and droppings for medicinal purposes, sure, but only after some other predator had done its dirty work. Always scavenged from the wreckage of the food-chain, never purchased from a poacher or the black market. There was no death on her hands or in her stomach, and she preferred to keep it that way.

     A dull rumbling from below knocks Helena off balance, followed by what sounds unmistakably like screaming. She gathers as many of her high-value items as she can fit into a satchel and abandons the rest. The rooftop system of bazaar platforms is flanked on all sides by even higher skyscrapers, so she can’t see the cause of the commotion but she can smell the heavy smoke in the air. The same kind that filled her village before it was reduced to ash and dust.

There was no death on her hands or in her stomach, and she preferred to keep it that way.

     Fellow merchants tiptoe around the square, buzzing with a general sense of uncertainty. Gathering in one of the gardens at the far end of the platform to panic about what is happening. Helena wastes no time on curiosity, heading toward the chainlink ladders opposite them. There are public elevators nearby that are bound to be at capacity soon, full of patrons scrambling to reunite with their families. She heads instead toward the freight elevators used by the working class. Slower, but able to help her escape the sudden chaos.

     Halfway down the ladder Helena watches as an unfamiliar warship tears through the southern spire, raining glass shards and rubble down around her. Crushing whole sections of the market and killing dozens in the process. She tightens her grip on the chains and pauses for a moment to grieve the people she couldn’t stand. An alarm sounds as the Queen’s Wolfpac arms the anti-aircraft weaponry to little avail. These ships are unlike any she’s ever seen, even when the armies of this very city ripped her home to shreds, making an orphan of her.

    Helena drops the last fifteen feet to the next platform and sprints to her last hope of safety. Blue-skins from all levels lay strewn about, wounded or in utter shock. Her self-preservation instinct prevents her from helping anyone until she turns a corner and sees the child from her shop weeping over what is likely his mother’s corpse.

    “Hey kid,” she shouts over the disarray.

    He turns, eyebrows raised, and offers the vial back to her in defeat. His sobs are quiet, but piercing. She flashes back to the moment her own parents were taken from her.

    “Oh shove off with that,” she grumbles, grabbing him by the shirt collar. “Don’t just sit here and die like the rest of them. Follow me.”

    The boy, still years off from puberty with tentacles barely yet down to his shoulders, hesitates. Clutches at his mother’s lifeless shoulders and kisses her cheek before relenting, and following Helena to the old freight.

     A small crowd of custodial workers and merchants face off with a smaller still group of Wolfpac security and upper platform residents. She pushes the child behind a dumpster, holds a finger up to her mouth to shush him, and searches her satchel for the milkroot she always carries with her.

     “Now if you’d all just calm down,” says the yellow-robed guard, a lieutenant of some sort with a smokers gravel in her voice, “I’m sure we can all fit in the freight if everyone would line up in an orderly manner.”

     “Like hell we can,” spat one of the janitors, his face covered with pockmarks. “This is a one-way trip to our level, your apartments are all in the upper spires. I suggest you head there”

     One of the tourists retorts, “You mean the spire that just came crashing down? Or the one right next to it surrounded by an alien armada?”

     “Don’t mean shit to me,” grumbles the janitor.

     The tourist gasps, “I will not be spoken to this way. Guards, do something about these cretins.”

     Helena can feel the tension rising as she approaches the commotion, one side bound to throw the first punch any second now. She ties a mask over her face and drops the vial of milkroot onto the ground, crushing it under her boot.

     A wispy cloud envelops both sides in seconds as they all begin to cough. Milkroot acts as a sleep aid in the smallest of doses and can cause temporary paralysis when entered into the atmosphere in bulk. Harmless, really, if you weren’t considering the likelihood of this crowd’s survival. Helena doesn’t allow herself to consider this fact, though. She beckons the child to her side and punches in the coordinates for the lowermost sector. By her logic, the lower they are, the longer it’ll take for the warships to get to them.

     The ride down takes a few hours, as fits of starts and stops threaten to halt their progress. The child’s sobs fill the otherwise empty chamber, she hands him a small fern that works as a natural sedative, but he declines. She’s incapable of offering any other measure of comfort.

     With nowhere else to go, the two enter Helena’s usual haunt, Reyna’s. The bar’s floor is sticky from spilled liquor and blood from frequent brawls. Reyna herself stands calmly cleaning a glass with a wet rag and raises her eyebrows, “Who’s the runt?”

     Helena shrugs. The kid himself offers no insight.

     “Why’d you bring him here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

     She helps the kid up onto the stool and hands him Reyna’s jar of pickled eggs. “City’s under some sort of attack. I think work’s over for just about everyone today.”

     Reyna grunts, “Wondered why the circuit stopped working.” The barkeep presses a button underneath the counter that puts the place on lockdown. The drunks here at this time of day don’t seem to notice.

     “Have you heard from Argus?” Helena asks, trying not to sound too hopeful that Reyna’s youngest brother would be present.

     “Not since the idiot got himself arrested, no,” she replies.

     “Damn, poor kid. I hope it's well guarded enough for him to survive this mess.”

     Reyna nods, a solemn look on her face. She pulls a disruptor rifle off the wall and charges it. She tries handing a pistol to Helena.

     “You know I don’t do guns.”

     Reyna shrugs and presses another hidden button, opening up a concealed door in the floor to the sewers. “C’mon,” she says, “we should find Uncle Vernon and the boys. Hole up somewhere until this all blows over.”

     Helena takes the boy by the wrist and together they follow her only friend into the depths, and away from a life she had only ever tolerated. Never enjoyed.

• • •

Breadcrumb #119

ROB MARTINEZ

Pete said yes to the little vial of Texas booger sugar and the rest was history. They spent four hours gnawing on steaks, slamming premium Tequila, and howling underneath loud overtures of the elevated subway. The medicinal nasal drip was an ever-present electrical jolt of brain power, creating spasms of heightened soliloquizing, rapturous postulations on racism and the ahistorical manifestos of secret bastards in the zeitgeist. 

    Self hatred is the credo of the urban white boy in the 21st century. Inward judgment, fragile braggadocio, eyes cast down to trace the harried paths of las ratas. Drugs amplify. Yet the intent is good, the effect is nicer poultry, the smell of chicken blood-feather-foot is practically scrubbed since 1912 the place existed—

    Pete, for his part, always tried not to draw attention to himself. To be respectful. Everyone else been here longer, he reasoned. Don’t dress like an asshole. New York City was the land of the high and the low—rich, poor; gorgeous, ugly; Brooklyn, Queens; penthouse, basement—a hell of a place Pete called it. By the time the night was extinguished the subway had dwindled to a tri-hourly trip, picking meat out their teeth they did not wish to say goodbye, eyes glued open, craving the next fix.

    It was magic hour as they greeted the giant Indian bodega clerk whose eyes swam in pools of red. Huffing bacon scents he peered down at them with proud disgust, a notch down from the fury he emitted in the years of nights he had lived. Pete asked for rolling papers.

    “You need rolling papers, man?” A young Latino appeared from the shadows, his voice slithering across many measures of the bodega soundtrack. The Indian clerk was now a dark red peripheral mass breathing those nitrate fumes, shrinking into nothing—“How many do you need?” 

    “Just one,” Pete said.

     “Just one? What, you are not going to smoke me up? Come on, bro,” the Colombian said, looking out at the deserted violet borough where even the rats slept. “My name is Alex.”

    Pete’s friend—who shall remain nameless, who at any cost remains nameless, whose visage was so contorted by the tenseness of his jaw at that moment that his forehead cut the morning glow like quartz—was silent.

    Pete said yes to the Colombian’s request and the rest was history. He returned to the house to retrieve those cherished emerald fragments, his friend having earned his solitude and given up on adventure. Resistance to adventure was an epidemic whose only cure was more adventure. Dear the soft synthetic masses—namaste, tip your yogi, and don’t kill Pete’s fucking high. 

    Alex took him down Northern Boulevard to an alley hidden behind the houses on 78th and 79th. The morning’s light was intensifying as mothers shook linens out of their windows. It would not be hard, if you looked, to see a school child. The two sought refuge beneath a mass of dying trees and Alex’s hands went to work on the crumpled bambu and mossy buds. 

“What do you like, Pete, man?” he asked, looking up. “You like molly, you like perrico?” He licked the glue and placed the joint in his mouth.

    “I like everything,” Pete replied. “Todos.”

    “Oh, you like everything, huh?” The Colombian leaned down into his body and lit up. “So I take this rock here, I smash car window. I get in the car, I start it up. You take rock, smash the other window, get in and drive away with me?”

    The thick smoke that cascaded from his mouth devoured his face and clung to his features like fog on water.

    “No,” Pete said.

    Alex’s eyes gleamed from deep within that smoke. “Then you don’t like todos, man, you don’t like everything.” He offered over the weed.

    All of the following happens in the time it takes Pete to put the joint to his mouth: The children leave their houses—these peripheral cherubs—and cars back out of lots. A mosquito sucks the blood from Pete’s hand. The leafage below the two sags and voids its muddy contents into the fibers of their sneakers. Alex’s legs begin to tense, and he takes the first step towards running. Pete’s lips pucker to suck the fire from their hewn cylinder.

The leafage below the two sags and voids its muddy contents into the fibers of their sneakers.

    Alex had left the frame. Pete’s mind crashed back to reality as officers emerged from a car parked several feet away. A fat bald white man in a Yankees shirt dashed after him as he turned and ran.

    Pete stripped himself of the evidence: That small white vial which he had enjoyed so thoroughly, those little buds of goodness Alex had torn into, and the adventure he had agreed to. He was propelled so forcefully from the ground from his running that the pavement below him did not exist. He was flying. He caught Alex with ease, and as he passed him, he peered into those confident eyes.

    He wanted to say, “I like everything, man,” because this rush was a rare and beautiful thing. But Alex was slowing down. Pete had just slightly more in him—he hopped the fence in their path.

    There was nowhere to hide in that thawed cemetery. Drowned flowers lay strewn, attached to perpetual ribbons. The snow was piled against gravestones, soaked through with mud and salt. Names were perceptible beneath the sludge, Richard, Carter, Lopez, Grant—

    There were a few mourners making their way around. They were all wearing green. They were all older men. They looked over at Pete, who had slowed to an amble. He could hear the ruckus behind him approaching over the muffled cries of the fallen.

    His breath burned in his chest. He wondered to himself: Who came here when these souls were buried beneath the snow? Who had freed them from those whispering drifts of oblivion? Who considers the dead when so many damned yet live?

    When they caught him there, their enthusiasm for punishment could not be contained. The fat cop had been wearing a bulletproof vest: He threw Pete onto the ground and nearly ripped his clothes off. The green men watched it all happen, as he was thrown up against the fence and searched, hands groping his genitals and searching beneath his shirt. 

    Alex was resisting his detention on the other side of the fence. They were questioning him, holding the white vial up in triumph. “That’s not mine, man, that’s not mine—”

    Pete’s face was pressed so hard against the fence he thought his eyes would squeeze out. Alex stared into them deeply. The cops buckled Pete’s knees and rolled him onto his stomach. The mourners solemnly greeted his gaze.

    They all seemed to hate him so desperately that he was forced to wonder whether his adventure had just begun.

• • •

Breadcrumb #118

ANDREW MARINACCIO

Move out to the country
And starve to field noises behind closed doors
This cleric’s mission is for all of us
Though your heart left while being plucked too dearly 

If Fate allowed so much as this
Separate her fingers
and paint with them in your hungriest terms

As our napes further erode
I realize I’ve seen too much of your face
And broken some earthen code
My job is almost done: I, cartographer
Linking incandescent corners
half-meaningfully pecking, then staying for a while 

Tonight was like that other one
All birdsongs and coffee-stained Easter bread
Taking turns catching onto something scarred and molten
Glancing at each other's necks and meaning to ask. 

Fewer see that they were bound before in these countless poses
We watched carefully and gave them new names: 

My Spectral Hand
Your Lunar Coo
Between animal and artisan
The nest was built and difference due

• • •

Breadcrumb #116

CHRISTIE DONATO

 In Paradise every day is the first day of summer. 

    It’s never cold, and there’s always a light breeze. Flowers bloom in the fields and forests, fruit is ripe on the vine, and grain is ready for harvest. The days are long, and the nights are warm and deep. The wood is dense and lush, like the day after a heavy rain, and the trees there are strange and ancient; thick-trunked and dressed in moss. It is a place well-suited for hunting parties and Midsummer festivals.

    At night, she dreamed of gold and red leaves, of tree roots and earth hard with frost, of landscapes painted white with snow. She saw the ocean rolling hard against a mist-heavy beach, or a willow tree lashed by wind and rain. These scenes were her dreams and daydreams.

    However, there were details which she could not conjure simply because she did not know them. For instance, she failed to imagine the huff of a white breath in January, or the slick, stickiness of sweat in July. She could imagine the beauty of these scenes, but not their reality. She had never experienced a day that was cold, wet, or even too windy. She had never seen nature decay, or animals disappear for months on end. 

She could imagine the beauty of these scenes, but not their reality.

     She knew nothing of Julius Caesar or Napoleon Bonaparte. She was aware that there were places called Europe and Africa, but they were little more than abstractions to her. She had no idea that there were such things as automobiles, or that, somewhere, humans were learning to fly. However, she did know that to see a light in a dark wood meant danger, to hold a torch at a crossroads was a summoning, and that a crow could be just a bird, or a spy.

     She was born in Paradise, underneath a yew tree and a full moon. She was swaddled in a torn tunic, and carried close to her mortal mother’s breast. Tight enough to feel the swell and thud of a heartbeat. Near enough to hear the persistent inhales and sighs, the whispered words meant for her ears alone. Her mother sang to her of home. Soft, simple songs of the Nile River and the desert. Lullabies colored by a fear of floods, drought, and war.

     Her father said that in the world he came from, everything must perish from the Earth in its own time. In Paradise, these rules do not hold. Time moves differently there, if it moves at all.  In her dreams she longed for the dead things of her parents’ home. She yearned in secret for what she could not have, and what she did not fully understand. 

     For at night she dreamed of gold and red leaves.

• • •