Breadcrumb #232

LYNN WHITE

No symbiosis. No reciprocity.
And then..
You spoke to me. 

A smile on your lips
and a sadness
behind your eyes
to match my own.
I could see it,
recognise it.
I knew it well.

“Hello you”, I said.
“Hello me?”

A gesture,
a question in your voice,
laughter caught
in the back of your throat
and eyes that smiled.
Momentarily.

At least
momentarily
understanding

• • •

Breadcrumb #231

JUNYOUNG CHOI

All citizens of the United States are obligated to finish a product’s advertisement or contribute equally and democratically to the cost of its production; one shall not resume any activity on the ‘web’ until such an advertisement is finished.

Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

     “NBA 2K98, level up fast and dominate your friends in the new VR My Player mode, NOW AVAILABLE AT... 

     I cannot stand these god damn ads. Way too long and they don’t even try to be interesting anymore. They know my computer will just pause everything I’m doing and freeze if I turn my eyes away from the screen. Honestly, scums. Fuck it. I guess I have some cash to spare. 

     “Thank you! Your current balance is $7202.91.” 

They know my computer will just pause everything I’m doing and freeze if I turn my eyes away from the screen.

     At least before all this bullshit happened, the ads used to show what I wanted to see. Of course, they were still annoying so I had AdBlock on like everybody else, but now? It’s a shitshow. I just don’t understand how we got here! 

    It’s all about what the majority wants. Fuck the majority! I mean, I’m a middle-age pothead single mom who likes horror movies and I’m sitting here getting ads like–– oh, there we go, there it is. Again. 

    “Watch Dolores Rose in hardcore bdsm (37 minutes) - POWR Experience this life-like 4D...” 

    Wow, I cannot believe you Google.

“Thank you! Your current balance is $7195.92.”

     These, I detest the most. They always come out of nowhere. At the worst times. I remember when my 6 year old son Tommy and I were watching the new Disney movie, and this porn website just wouldn’t stop popping up every twenty minutes. I must’ve spent at least $300 on skipping ads that day. Absolutely ridiculous. 

     “Order Now! The newest strain from your favorite dispensary: ½ ounce of Purpleberry Trainwreck for only $240! [ $320 ON SALE → $240]...” 

     This, I like. They obviously show these to me because I’m probably the Green Cross Dispensary’s VVIP customer. 

     “Thank you for your purchase! Your scheduled delivery is: today, at 4pm. Your current balance is $6955.92.” 

     Nice. 4pm. 4pm? 

     Shit! I completely forgot to order sushi for lunch and Tommy’s getting home from kindergarten in, about half an hour. Oh my fucking goodness how no why the fuck isn’t my address saved on my own Seamless account?! 

     Let’s see… Okay, it’s like 12:30 right now so if I order right this second it may deliver in time for when Tommy... 

     “Watch Samantha Ocean and Dolores Rose in heated lesbian threesome (51 minutes) - POWR Experience this life-like 4D clip for just $35!” 

    You know what? Fine. Ha! Fuck ordering this food, god damn it. Is this what you wanted to see? I cannot believe I’m turned on by this.

    “Thank you for your purchase! Your clip will begin shortly; please put on the VR set and enjoy! Your current balance is $6920.92.”

• • •

Breadcrumb #230

MORIAH SHIRES

All trains are running on the local track
Can I have a taste of what love should be, 
But probably never is?
French Rococo, his last cigarette
He lets me draw 

Eyes down, eyelashes soft
Melting folding disappearing into myself
Pretending he doesn’t know
Praying my pretense is reality
Pretending you aren’t in front of me
With your hood down, shoes off, let’s make this even

Mmmmm like an animal
Like eating your little brother’s birthday cake
Like an alien vomiting onto the earth
We devour each other
Biting and tearing, wishing you were him
And I was her
Our love is fake, a tragic remedy
An attempt to bandage an incurable wound
You and I are not enough

In spite of, despite, in addition to
A slice less indulgent than the whole
Trust me--I’ll take what I can take
Giving hurts
Work drinks. Work dinner. Work coffee.
Tinder date. Bumble fuck.
I hope you aren’t upset 

Time, the dimension of nonexistence
Click, tap, shhh
Minutes are hours
Click, tap, shh, shut the fuck up
Where is the subway?
Ocean eyes glaring into my soul, he knows
Whispers, click, tap, shhh, whispers, silence
Hell
Where do we go from here?
The E train is running on the express track
But I need the local train
I need a local love
I missed it
Where do I go from here?

• • •

Breadcrumb #229

RAINY HOVARTH

See hear, Blue Jay, you have startled me from my sleep!
What right have you to jar me from my recompense
this blissful slumber
free floating on a bed of velvet roses.

I was a bride of Thor
my long thick hair entangled with his steely sword
nude bodies sparkling in the sunshine
fat blonde babies laughing at my feet.

You destroyer of slumber
so jaunty in your disturbance
echoed now by all your brother birds, 
you pry me back from another world.

I will have none of this.
I have a cat you know, I’ll lose my Tom
he’ll eat you,
fragile bones crunching in the moonlight
dripping rivulets of blood
of dreams deferred and love left far behind.

• • •