Breadcrumb #131

ADRIENNE CHEMEL

“THIS IS MY WORLD AND I SHOULD BE LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT! I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW, MAN! YOU KNOW WHAT HATE IS?! HATE IS THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE!”

“...”

“HATE! IS! THE! OPPOSITE! OF! LOVE! RIGHT NOW YOU ARE CREATING THE ABSENCE OF LOVE! WHY?!”

“...”

“I um… I don’t…”

“I know you know who I am. I KNOW YOU KNOW! But guess what? I don’t know who you are. I DON’T KNOW! WHO! YOU! ARE!!! And I never will if you don’t start caring about what you do, if you don’t strive to make a difference, if you don’t do everything in your power to make your business a better business. A better business makes the the universe better and your girl’s pussy wetter. What are you doing to improve the universe? From here it looks like jack shit.”

“Look man, I just work here.”

“All I hear from you is negativity! You need to turn that negativity into positivity and you know what you need to turn that positivity into? ACTivity! Activity means action. TAKE ACTION! GET ME A DAMN SHAMROCK SHAKE!”

“I already told you, the ice cream machine is broken.”

“EVERY FUCKING TIME I COME HERE! EVERY!!! FUCKING!!! TIME!!!!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ICE CREAM MACHINE IF IT’S ALWAYS BROKEN?! Unless… Unless being broken is its TRUE FUNCTION IN WHICH CASE IT IS NEVER TRULY BROKEN! 

Damn. Damn, that’s pretty good. Now I get it. Now I see. And you know what? I see something else. I see opportunity. I see an ultralight beam through the fog of this ice cream machine bullshit. I’m gonna make my own ice cream. A new ice cream for a new planet. We won’t have flavors like chocolate or vanilla or shamrock. We’ll have flavors like platinum. Flavors like mink. Flavors like wifey’s toe. You feel me?”

“Sure.”

“Damn right you feel me! I was wrong about you man. You get it man. You get it.”

“With um. With all due respect Mr. West, there’s a line forming behind you. Did you want to order anything instead of the shake?”

“A line? Listen fam, everything is lines! You gotta blur the lines to make a clothing line to make the hot models do the lines to make them dutty wine and stick their fingers in your behind!”

“So, nothing?”

“...”

“...”

“I’ll have a large fries.”

“Great.”

“BILL COSBY INNOCENT!!!!!!!!!!”

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