Breadcrumb #426

ASHLEY LYNNE

your words were heavy chains around my ankles, steel boots upon my feet
i was atlas, a world perched upon my shoulders
i broke my back to lift your two ton, black heart
there was no longer a need for a cage, rotting carcasses will not grow feathers
stone hearts will never take flight

thanksgiving came and went, you could have used my spine to break in half
there i had grown my wishbone
i still don’t know how much milk it takes to calcify a backbone
but i never stopped searching for any words or phrases or quotes or mantras to chug down
dunking cookies of wisdom into my cup in hopes that i would no longer be the girl with the glass bones

shatter me with words, clenched fists, tightened jaw
twist every connected strand of consonants and vowels into arsenic
you dipped my arrows into poison and turned the bow against me
i was inhaling you like cigarettes, getting my fix as you slowly stole from me
minutes, seconds, hours, feelings, firsts, hopes and dreams
blackened my lungs as you tore out my seams

little rag doll that you tossed out into the waste bin
who knew i had an expiration date
i didn’t realize until it was too late that you had decided
i would either fall into submission or be the first or second draft you sent to the shredder
you sucked every bit of marrow from my skeleton
you drained my life force every time my no’s were choked out and you heard “yes” instead

the thing about being caught in your undertow of your pirated ship is, i was bound to learn to swim or drown

• • •