Breadcrumb #426

ASHLEY LYNNE

your words were heavy chains around my ankles, steel boots upon my feet
i was atlas, a world perched upon my shoulders
i broke my back to lift your two ton, black heart
there was no longer a need for a cage, rotting carcasses will not grow feathers
stone hearts will never take flight

thanksgiving came and went, you could have used my spine to break in half
there i had grown my wishbone
i still don’t know how much milk it takes to calcify a backbone
but i never stopped searching for any words or phrases or quotes or mantras to chug down
dunking cookies of wisdom into my cup in hopes that i would no longer be the girl with the glass bones

shatter me with words, clenched fists, tightened jaw
twist every connected strand of consonants and vowels into arsenic
you dipped my arrows into poison and turned the bow against me
i was inhaling you like cigarettes, getting my fix as you slowly stole from me
minutes, seconds, hours, feelings, firsts, hopes and dreams
blackened my lungs as you tore out my seams

little rag doll that you tossed out into the waste bin
who knew i had an expiration date
i didn’t realize until it was too late that you had decided
i would either fall into submission or be the first or second draft you sent to the shredder
you sucked every bit of marrow from my skeleton
you drained my life force every time my no’s were choked out and you heard “yes” instead

the thing about being caught in your undertow of your pirated ship is, i was bound to learn to swim or drown

• • •

Breadcrumb #425

COURTNEY LOCICERO

When life gives you lemons,

You make what now?

Barefoot wanderers that play guitar and know where to find secret waterfalls?

Fermented, albino monsters hiding under the beds of traumatized children whose parents take them for granted?

What spells lemonade these days?

I’ve poured the cheap packets more times than I can count

I even got one of those fancy carafes

to make them feel like this was some real Southern hospitality shit

While I poured for them, the Monkey whispered in my ear

“Give them what they want. Use your gifts.”

His beard tickled me there

The guests thought that I was smiling for them

I was bending myself inside out for their consideration

I showed them all that I had, am, will ever be

Every single creation inside me

That was ever worth being seen

Mesmerized, they dabbed their lips

Said, “Very nice. Very nice indeed. Quite the experience. But,”

Where was the Monkey when I needed him?

Dabbed their lips again

“This isn’t what we ordered.”

I checked the powdery suspension

Tilted my head at the curious error

Where did I go wrong?

My lemonade was fresh, full of zest

Nothing like they’ve ever had

As pink as the Monkey’s tongue

that first whispered confidence

Before it turned sour

• • •

Breadcrumb #424

MONICA LEWIS

Today was no sleep & coffee. apple dreaming through an old old window. brave with no bangs but cat-winked eyes & feeling good in this skin. sun was bright but unheavy, kissing brooklyn brownstones side by side by side. street tree-lined & alive. here, they own their homes, they work hard past bone to claim their homes their homes are homes not houses and family is home is second only to the gift of alive. you. are. alive. right here. on the train we talk we spill eagerly into each other. we open wide. we hit soho and st. marks and a sexy new bong with a hot pink mouth. a cab then a bar then soul-talking and tears. every moment the chance to start again new eyes new tools. the power in the pulse. then we puff giggle puff, giggle giggle giggle puff. then sing, sing shamelessly. you really are crazy-beautiful. 

but just remember that today, you cried.
you laughed, a lot.
you were present and patient.
open and blessed.
disappointed.
and then suddenly content.
tricked and saved by yourself.
remember that
each minute made the moments that made today absofuckinglutely flawless.

• • •