Breadcrumb #173

JOSH RUBINO


So...I'm basically full of bugs.

    It's not as bad as you'd think, really. They tend to keep to themselves, only really showing up due to the occasional hiccup or desire to appear in a cloud-like swarm. It started when I looked at what I thought was a coupon code in my email. I was SUPPOSED to get $50 for Amazon, but instead the coupon code turned out to be some sorta old language and the next thing I know the words had crawled into my head, turned into bugs, and hollowed me from the inside out!

    I won't lie, there's a bit of an adjustment period. The bugs basically just left my eyes, teeth, tongue, and the front part of my brain. Everything else was fair game as far as they were concerned. It's a bit flattering to know that not only did I get picked to be their new home (by a QUEEN no less!), but that I was also incredibly delicious. Still, there were a few days where they had to figure out how to move my legs, manipulate my jaw, harmonize their buzzing into something simulating a human voice. My bones are all gone so they're all just crawling around, busily holding me together and moving about. You'd think there'd be a buzzing but there isn't, only a steady hum - like a white noise machine.

-Ack...help..too!-

So...I’m basically full of bugs

    Excuse me. Anyway there's just a hum, can't imagine how I'd sleep without it. Not that I've really slept since the bugs moved in. Don't really feel the need, just tend to walk around town keeping myself active and picking up snacks. I need snacks, snacks are a requirement now, rather than an indulgence. Snacks are a requirement now. Snacks are a requirement NOW. Ya see if I don't eat then the bugs will get irritated and leave me, and if you think that being a living hive is a change in lifestyle then imagine when you're a discarded skin suit sitting on a floor.

-Ahhhhh...run...choooo!-

    Whoo! Sorry about that, must be dusty in here. That's something I noticed, since the bugs I don't really eat that many big meals just a lot of smaller ones throughout the day. I noticed recently that I eat a lot of sugar which, to be fair, might always have been the case. I also noticed I've been eating a lot more people and I'm, like, 90% sure that's new.

-Ahhhh...run while you can...choooo!-

    Dang I am really sorry! Must be having a reaction to something. But yeah, aside from that and constantly feeling Eldritch words burned into my brain, I've never felt better! I mean, I say "I" but I'm not entirely sure what "I" is exactly. Like, have you ever had a thought but you're not sure YOU had it? I'm reasonably certain that's where the Queen is, there's a lot of..um...flow isn't the right word more traffic? Yeah, traffic works. It's a new feeling not being part of a community so much as BEING a community but honestly, it feels great. Everything feels great, partially because the bugs seem to really be working my brain's pleasure center but I'd also like to think it's just me loving life. I mean, the only thing I really crave is to breed.

-Ahhh....save yourself...choooo!-

    Ugh, no not like that, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean the good old fashioned way: sending words into people's brains to bury themselves in their soft tissue! I started sending out coupon codes myself, but last week I ran out of names in my contact list...but of a roadblock there. It's also hard to just say the words to people, they're mostly consonants and they sound weird. A lotta folks run away when they think some crazy person's shouting at them. The important thing though is to reach out! Let people know that joining the hive is a really rich, rewarding life choice with nothing to lose and a million little friends to gain! So if you're feeling lonely and are looking for a positive, life fulfilling change won't you consider joining our mailing list?

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